Happy Easter

Not so fond of the Easter Bunny

My mom took Harrison to see the Easter Bunny this year since I didn't want to take Juliette to the mall yet. It was a good thing I didn't because my mom said the Bunny was sick and coughing. Hopefully, Harrison will outgrow his fear before Santa comes back into town. He is so freaked out about the Easter Bunny and Santa. I am probably traumatizing him:)

We hope everyone has a Happy Easter. We will be spending it at home with Harrison and Juliette. I think this will be the first holiday since Kevin and I have been together that we aren't running around to different families house to celebrate. We will miss seeing the family, but know it is best for Juliette. Love to all.

One month old

Your special stork sign

Right after you were born

Last day in the NICU

Your first bath at home. You loved getting a bath.



Sun bathing

the doctor had us do this at home for your jaundice..notice the diaper changing pad:)

1 month old

Dear Juliette-

Today you are one month old. I am so in love with you. You fill my heart with such joy and happiness. I smile everyday when I am with you. I am looking forward to you getting older and joining me in mommy and daughter activities (shopping, spa, manicures,tea parties, etc).

I feel like you have come so far since you were born. Unfortunately, you spent the first nine days in the NICU away from mommy and daddy, but we came to see you everyday. The nurses in the NICU would tell me that you were a fighter from the moment you cried. You appear to be very calm and easy going. I feel very peaceful when I am with you.

When you came home, you were too tiny to sit in your swing or bouncy chair. I didn't have many places to put you down, so I started letting you sleep on your diaper changing pad. You actually really liked it and I could move it all around the house. Now you are big enough to sit in the swing and bouncy chair without your head flopping all around. You absolutely love sleeping with mommy. Your co-sleeper has not been a success (it wasn't with your big brother either), so you sleep on mommy's chest most of the night. Mommy is exhausted, but wouldn't trade it for the world. I am creating a bed monster, but know that with time you will be on your own. One day, you will sleep in your crib when mommy gets over the fear of SIDS and guilt of you being in the NICU.

I am so proud of how much weight you have gained. The nurses at the NICU wanted me to give you bottles of breast milk with a little formula a few times a day to give you more calories, but I wanted to try it on my own and see how we did together. You were 4 pounds 6 ounces when we left the NICU and at 3 weeks you were 6 pounds. The doctor was very impressed and gave me the okay to nurse you without any bottles. I was thrilled that we did it solely nursing and no bottles. We make a good team:) You eat about every three hours during the day and at night about every hour and a half. It is tough, but I have to feed on demand until you are bigger. Then we can get on a better schedule.

We haven't left the house except for doctors appointments because we want you to be bigger and stronger. At your first doctors appoinment, you pooped right when I took your diaper off and it went flying all over the wall, mommy and the table. What a way to greet the doctor!!! I was so embarrased. Now, the doctor and nurses call it your special room when we go in.

I have started taking you for walks with your big brother. During the day, you usually just eat and sleep. You are awake at different periods throughout the day, but not for a long time. I am enjoying this period because soon enough you will be all over the place.

I love you very much,

mommy

The magic question has finally been answered.....

Why was Juliette so small and would she have gotten any bigger if they let her go another week?

The NICU nurse and my doctor confirmed her weight was not because of anything I was doing or not doing, but that the placenta was very small. She was getting all the nutrients she could get from me, but the placenta was not large enough to help her continue to grow. It is very common and they have no medical answers as to why a placenta is large or small. It just happens for some unknown reason. I was so relieved to her this answer and find the peace that I needed within to help me get through this situation. It was killing me inside everyday wondering if I would have eaten more or been more strict with the bed rest, if she would have grown to be 6 or 7 pounds. The doctor told me that they were milking the situation as long as they could to get her to 36 weeks so they could deliver and get her out (bed rest and eating). But, I could have eaten a million calories and never gotten out of bed for two months, and she would have not have been much bigger. It was the way it was and nothing was going to really help.

I am so thankful my prayers were answered and a conclusion to this part of my life has been given to me. The guilt and unknown were very hard to handle. I can now close this chapter and focus on moving forward.

I know she is in good hands....

but it is not in my hands!!!!

As frustrated and disappointed I am that Juliette isn't at home with me, I am thankful she is in a great place. She is doing amazingly well and they think she will be home this weekend. She is nursing like a champ and I feel like a cow pumping milk every three hours. They give her bottles of breast milk half the time so they can monitor her intake on a more consistent basis. The jaundice is gone...thank goodness because the lights were making me nervous with her eyes. They covered them with these baby patches, but I was worried she would pull them off and hurt her eyes. The nurses are moving her out of the isolette into a crib tonight. If she can hold her own for 48 hours they will let her go home. She has to prove she can maintain her body temperature outside the isolette, continue to eat the required amount, and gain weight everyday. I know my little one can do all these things....especially if she has her mamma's willingness to fight:)

I go 3-4 times a day to feed her and hold her. They don't want her to have too much stimulation because she needs to rest and grow. Today the nurse let me hold her awhile because she didn't need to be under the lights anymore. I was in heaven. She cuddled with me the whole time and for a good amount just stared at me. She seems so much calmer than Harrison did. I was in my own little world with her and hated to give her back. The thought crossed my mind to steal her, but didn't think I would get far..nor did I think that would help her in the long run:) She is so tiny and seems so fragile that I worry she will break. I love her being in my arms and am counting down the days.

Thank you to all our family and friends who have been here to help. Everyone's prayers and concerns have been appreciated. We couldn't do it without you!!!!

Juliette Elizabeth

Getting her first bath


I am home from the hospital , full of joy and sadness. Joy that I have the most beautiful little girl and sad that she had to stay back in the NICU for the time being. She was born a whole pound bigger than the doctors thought ( still tiny), but she needs some time to regulate her body temperature and be under the lights because she has a bit of jaundice. She needs to nurse a little better, so they have an iv in her to make sure she doesn't get dehydrated. She is a fighter and has been amazing through this whole process. Her strength amazes me and I know she will continue to fight to be home. Thankully, all the issues are minor that can be worked though in the next week. She is considered a grower and feeder in the NICU.

Kevin has some great pictures that we will post once he gets them downloaded.

We are happy to announce the arrival of

Juliette Elizabeth
4 lbs 10 ounces
17 1/4 inches
March 11 at 1:29 pm

Mommy and Juliette are doing great.

It might be time!!!

I went to the doctor this afternoon and he informed me that there is a possibility he might be inducing me or doing a c-section on Tuesday. The baby is growing, but not at the rate that they would like as of last Friday. He wanted to do an amniocentesis, but I was a little hesitant having it done so we agreed to wait until Tuesday and see what progress she has made in terms of weight. If she measures on the small side again Tuesday, he will automatically decide to bring her into this world. He told me to have my bags packed and not to eat anything heavy in case they do have to do a c-section. He feels the best way to deal with the situation is to get her out and have her grow with breast milk. She is continuing to be strong. Her heart is strong and he has checked all of her organs to make sure everything appears to be normal. He sees no sign of any issues besides her weight. We both decided my oven is not working to the best of its ability. I guess it is not turned up high enough:) By next week, I will be a little over 36 weeks and he feels she will be fine. She will be tiny, but okay.

I am doing okay. Nervous and feeling overwhelmed because I don't feel ready or prepared. We just got her dresser in, so Kevin will start assembling that and all the other baby items that we need. The car seat is in the car ready to bring her home. All her clothes are washed, but need to be put away once the dresser is done. And her bedding needs to be put in the crib. It is amazing how you are prepared to be done by her due date and then it all changes.

I will have all the information Tuesday. Someone will post it on the blog or facebook to keep you updated. Wish us luck.